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The Douchey DM » Misc » For Your GM Screen Part 1

For Your GM Screen Part 1

I started working on a joke GM screen a while back. I stumbled upon the files tucked away in a folder. Here is one of the panels.

I present:

2d6 Responses to Rules Lawyers

Roll

Result

2

It’s in the errata. I don’t have it printed out, but I have the .pdf on my thumbdrive. I’ll show it to you after the game.”

3

Nope. We house-ruled that a couple weeks ago. You don’t remember that? You know what? I don’t think you were there for that session!”

4

Get out.”

5

I’m pretty sure that if you pick up that rulebook and read that paragraph again, I’ll kick your ass.”

6

You realize that after this session, half the players are going to email me and ask me to kick out of of the game, right?”

7

STFU.”

8

The problem here is that we don’t agree on definitions of the words in the rules. Here’s a dictionary. Look up all the words and get back to me after the game.”

9

Well next time you’re GMing, you can make the rulings any way you like … oh! That’s right! Everyone hates your games! Never mind.”

10

How about this. We’ll rochambeau it out. If I win, we’ll do it my way. If you win, we’ll do it my way.”

11

I called the game designer about this. He said you’re a douchebag.”

12

If you had kept up on things, you’d know that the Supreme Court already ruled on this in Spassky vs. Fischer. The majority opinion clearly stated that I’m right and you are a douchebag.”

Written by

Stu Venable is the producer of Happy Jacks RPG Podcast and writer and editor of DoucheyDM.com. He is founder and director of the Poxy Boggards and a member of Celtic Squall. He holds a degree in Journalism and Public Relations from California State University, Long Beach. He is a husband and a father. He hates puppies.

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