Articles Comments

The Douchey DM » Misc » You are NOT a fucking god!

You are NOT a fucking god!

Ever since the DMG, with its illustration of a DM holding the strings of a PC marionette, RPG publisher have alluded to the deification of the dungeon master, there’s been a group of DMs (and players) who seem to take this literally.

We’ve seen these guys. We’ve certainly overheard them at game cons. Maybe we’ve played with these guys. Hell, maybe we used to BE these guys.

I can understand the allure of semi-deification — you finally get to have absolute control over something, other than what’s in your pants. And some, I suppose, become a little drunk with power, like a frat-boy taking his first beer bong. “I am the master of my universe!” they claim.

Then the players show up. Suddenly Orville the Omniscient can’t figure out why he didn’t anticipate the party’s course of action, or he’s frantically improvising because they hopped the rails. Yet some insist on their immortality.

Maybe it’s the term: Dungeon Master — as in “master of all he surveys.” Besides the haughtiness, it’s not very accurate. GURPS uses “Gamemaster.” Not really any better than Dungeon Master. Call of Cthulhu uses “Storyteller.” That’s better, but really he’s only one of the storytellers at the table. Traveller uses “Referee.” That’s probably the most accurate and certainly has almost no haughtiness. It’s a little sporty, though.

Regardless of the phrase (or the reason), GMs who think of themselves as deities need a fucking reality check. Seriously, get a puppy, buy an “I’m a Star!” hat. Do anything, but don’t ask the players to suck your fake-god cock.

Written by

Stu Venable is the producer of Happy Jacks RPG Podcast and writer and editor of DoucheyDM.com. He is founder and director of the Poxy Boggards and a member of Celtic Squall. He holds a degree in Journalism and Public Relations from California State University, Long Beach. He is a husband and a father. He hates puppies.

Filed under: Misc

2 Responses to "You are NOT a fucking god!"

  1. Daniel SwensenNo Gravatar says:

    Doesn’t Call of Cthulhu use “keeper,” short for “keeper of arcane lore”? Maybe a bit presumptuous, but I always liked it.

    And I have to agree… GMs with a God complex are just the worst.

  2. […] Maailmakoneistot rajoittavat pelinjohtajan valtaa päättää pelin tapahtumista ja auttavat pelaajia kertomaan tarinoita yhdessä. Kuva: The Douchey DM […]

Leave a Reply